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Internet Casanova Strikes Again! The Toque SOMEWHERE ON THE INTERNET--The Internet Casanova strikes again! Like a digital Don Juan, this charming lurker cruises the Internet in search of virtual love. It hasn't been proven whether the intentions of this silver-tongued surfer are true, but his reputation has spread faster than a leak of Half-Life 2. You may have read about this online lover who has left a trail of broken hearts longer than the list of rejected links on FARK. He'll win you over with a romantic weblink, a poem recorded as a .wav file, or an interactive Flash-based e-card, and after he's captured your love like a Windows screenshot, he'll dump you like so much bad code.  The Internet Casanova always has love on his mind and on his computer screen. "He used me," said Cheryl Petrichoff, jilted Internet e-lover. "The same way he used all of my bandwidth. He leeched love from me like I was a zero-day warez server." Cheryl is just one of many victims of the Internet Casanova, the debonair downloader of love. "I met him in an IRC chat room, and his poetic keystrokes had me melting like butter on a heat sync. It wasn't long before we were sharing a private channel, and shortly thereafter, we exchanged emails. His correspondences were as eloquent as prefilled Print-Shop postcards." "But then things started to change," continued Cheryl. "The pre-scanned Kathy comics he would send me everyday stopped showing up in my Inbox. He avoided my ICQ chat requests, and he wouldn't show up to our scheduled online dates. His Outlook out-of-office reply said he was away on business, but I'm sure he was lying. He had the perfect auto-response for everything." Most of these women never realized they were sharing him like a Shakira MP3 on a peer-2-peer network. ( >>Read on ) | ||||||||||
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Enema at the gates as Russian spa unveils sculpture By Ethan McNern Scotsman 20 June 2008 A MONUMENT to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the Russian city of Zheleznovodsk.  The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800lb and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, the spa's director said yesterday."There is no kitsch or obscenity; it is a successful work of art," Alexander Kharchenko said. "An enema is almost a symbol of our region." The Caucasus mountains region is known for dozens of spas where enemas with water from mineral springs are routinely administered to treat digestive and other complaints. Mr Kharchenko, 50, said the monument cost £21,000 and was installed in a square in front of his spa on Wednesday. A banner declaring: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas" – an allusion to a line from The Twelve Chairs, a famous Soviet film comedy – was posted on one of the spa's walls. The sculptor, Svetlana Avakina said she designed the 5ft monument with "irony and humour" and modelled the angels holding the enema on those in works by the Italian Renaissance master Alessandro Botticelli. "This device is eternal; it will never change," she said. "We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors." Dozens of monuments dedicated to characters from tall tales and popular jokes have been erected in post-Soviet Russia. | ||||||||||
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In my previous post, I implied that my neighbours' brain size approximated that of a frog, and Hashi pointed out my extreme insult to the bird and frog families in making this comparison. I have now, in my usual high-tech manner, edited my graphic to reflect more accurately my neighbours' brain size.  | ||||||||||
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